You have to complete a shop that awards you one. It seems to be mostly the phone shops regarding college admissions that award them, but they are hard to get. I haven't managed to get one yet, either.
You can only add alerts for shop types you have already completed, which is why you can't add alerts for fine dining yet. Those types of shops go fast in some areas, especially since the people who have already completed one or more of those shops get alerts as soon as they post, so you have to be quick. If your friend is getting the alerts, you may want to ask them to notify you ASAP next time one comes up in your area that they don't plan to take. Also, if you happen to see one that seems like it may have low pay or not really be worth it, take it anyway just to get your foot in the door. Good luck!
The shop guidelines should tell you. Some are recorded directly in the iss app, so you just go to the shop and press a button when you're ready to call. Others may have a certain number and passcode to dial to record it. A few shops might require you to have external recording equipment, but I haven't come across any of those on this app yet.
I think some of it is experience, but I also think the competition for phone shops is just really intense, so they go quick. Once you have completed a badge for something, you can turn on notifications so you are informed when a new shop is posted in that category, so that could potentially allow you to apply quicker. But I think a lot of it is just luck.